Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Not Until My Chakras Are Aligned...

I can't blog until I'm straightened out. It is coming soon.

Thanks for your patience! (me included...! *smiling*)



Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This Made Me Smile...

Reading thru my blog subscriptions this morning, I came across this cute lil' cartoon on Drawn! The Illustration & Cartoon Blog. Even thought it's made for toddlers, it still made me smile.


Wobbly Land

Monday, June 23, 2008

Lemme 'Splain You...

I know you two think I'm a bit off my rocker, especially lately. I don't know if you have each read all of my posts or if you came in somewhere in the middle. Either way, you have noticed a change in my blog topics & maybe even the vibe.

Allow me to explain.

Over the last 6 months, I have been on an amazing Life journey. Ups and downs. Lefts and rights (and wrongs). A conundrum of emotions and a billion and one thoughts. As I have grown Spiritually, I have experienced some very interesting events. Ranging from "A-Ha" moments to Enlightenment to dreams becoming reality (vs deja vu) to receiving Messages and Visions. Trust me when I say that there have been many a time where I thought I was going insane (as you seem to have shared that thought).

During the months of May and June, I haven't blogged the way I used to. My evolution has moved along so rapidly, that I haven't had the desire to blog as much. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't enjoy it, but things are different for me now. My thoughts and feelings are all over the place. I am growing as a human, as a woman, and into a Spiritual Being. And along with that comes a lot of interesting experiences.

I am learning to allow myself to let Love and to make Peace. It's rough sometimes when you truly care about someone, it's difficult to let them walk away from you. I am a woman. I have a heart just like everyone else. But, my goal, for my evolution, is to cherish every moment that I am given in Life. Whether it be with another person, whether it be in Nature, or whether it be with me & the Universe.

My blogs, especially the last two that piqued each of your interest, were in direct relation to my Spiritual growth and a Vision I had. They don't need to make sense to you or to anyone else. They make sense to me. The beauty of my blogging is that I'm not here to make myself out to be this or that. I'm not here to make sure I fit into someone else's box. I write what I want no matter what. My blog is my release. Call me crazy if you will. Think that I take cold showers and smoke laced joints. Think what you want about me. Have your opinions, as they are yours to have. But just know, that I will continue to Be who and what I Am. The more you read, the more you will know.

I am not looking for someone "out there" to understand me. I'm not looking for anyone to be a "fan". I just write because I enjoy it. It is nice to know that I have people who enjoy reading my rants and randomness. But, please know that "gaining readers" isn't why I blog. My blog is essentially my public diary.

[to Everyone]: Thank you for sharing my journey and being a part of Me as we are all one in the Same. I appreciate each one of you.

I invite you all to continue reading as I have been told to continue to write. I intend to write more often and more regularly. So, with that I say...

Stay tuned.

OMG! There's Two Of You!

I must stay that this is quite unexpected, but it makes me a lil' excited. Thanks guys!

I must admit that I was wrong in assuming that the Anonymous Reader's comments were from the same person. Agreement #3 is "Don't Make Assumptions" ...Oops! It looks like I still have some work to do.

I've learned something.
Thank you.

Let me begin by asking, that since there are now two Anonymous Readers, if you each could give yourselves an alias. So, that if, in the future, you decide to comment more, you and I know which Anon I'm speaking to. I will leave it up to you to name yourselves, as I think it would be arrogant for me to take that liberty upon myself. You should be allowed your own creative freedom! ;)

In the meantime, if you don't mind, I will refer to you as Anon #1 & Anon #2 (in direct relation to your comment posting order on my last 2 blogs) to avoid any initial confusion.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

[@ Anonymous]:

What are you saying exactly? Do tell. I will publish all of your comments as I have each time you post. I'm not asking who you are, as it's obvious you wish to keep that under wraps, but let's converse.

You have piqued my interest with all of your comments.

Talk to me...


The final frontier...

I need to give it.

And so I give with reckless generosity.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

10:4, I Hear You Loud And Clear!

éxodos a marching out

Peace is coming.



And, so It is.

And, so I let it be.

Now. Unto forevermore.


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Laugh Of Buddha!

I Haz It!

This Is Just What You've Been Waiting For...

Congrats William!

Today I clicked on a link my very talented photographer friend posted on Myspace. Apparently, one of his photoshoots with ANTM's Eva Pigford was "leaked" to the "press"! [you have NO idea how excited I am about this right now! This is JUST the beginning, Will. It is just the beginning!]

The site MediaTakeOut has gotten a hold of the first photos from Will's 2nd major project. [I will double check with him before posting the title.] I personally don't know how they got out, but I DO know that it is for a divine reason why they surfaced. Mark my words, William, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!

I was there (not physically in presence, mind you) when he shot the campaign. I remember listening to him talk about his idea & thinking to myself...he is a talented mutha fucka!

I love you, William! And I'm so very, very happy for you.

Just watch.

Everything you have been working so hard for is about to pay off.

Good for you!

Peace & Blessings, Friend.


Saturday, June 14, 2008

Let Love.

[The title has inspired a painting.]

I saw You today.
I saw how hard it was to stay mad at You for even a moment.
It was like yelling at a puppy.
I instantly felt bad... and silly.

I had to restrain.
To resist.
To control the urge to grab You and kiss You.
I even played off the gestured hug.

Instead, I just smiled inside... and adored You.

As I reflect on the Moment.
As I replay it in My mind.
I think about what the outcome would have been.
Had I not refrained.
Had I just let Love.

I hold back because of You.
I hold back only in Your presence.
I do it for You.
I understand.
That is my reason.

My Heart is overflowing.
My head is trying to keep it under control.
It's an arduous task.
One that shouldn't be necessary.
But is.

I Pray silently.
Please, don't break My heart.
I ask.
I wait.

I let Love.

Back To Life...

It's BACK! 
My computer is back to life!
She's like new again.


I am complete.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Death...

My computer died of an apparent bad hard drive yesterday. I lost everything...Ever-y-THING!

I took my computer to the Apple Store & they said they'll have to perform a hard drive transplant. It's gonna take a few days. Major surgery. They had to airlift my laptop to the best Apple hospital in the nation. So, I know my baby is in good hands.

Needless to say, I won't be blogging for a while (well, at least not until the Apple Store calls me and says my laptop is out of the ICU.)

Until then.

I will try and hold back my tears.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Di Plane! Di Plane!

So, I’m on my way to New York by way of Delta Airlines and it has been quite an olfactory ride to say the least. It all began with me I guess. I brought 2 bananas on board thinking I would be enjoying my “dinner” aboard this fine aircraft. But, then it dawned on me…banana peels stink after-the-fact. So, I decided not to indulge. I ate a less-stinky Snicker bar instead.

Despite my effort to keep some sort of neutral olfactory ground, someone else in the vicinity decided against it. He or she decided a beef and bean burrito from Del Taco was a grand idea prior to boarding. Needless to say the unpleasantries to follow were not very polite. I decided at that moment that breathing thru my mouth was in my best interest.

I continued to read Conversations With God and I couldn’t help but wish that God would’ve had a conversation with Mr. McToots before he pulled into the drive-thru. But, I guess not everyone is ready to engage in such grand dialogues.

Since I’m on an overnight flight I knew that I should get as much “sleep” as I could cuz I’m only in New York for 2 and a half days and sleep is really not an option. As I prepared to go nite-nite, my nostrils were overcome by the glorious scent of Ben Gay. (And we all know how delicious Ben Gay smells!) Man.

Seriously. I would love to have a one-on-one with these people in an attempt to understand their logic. Ben Gay? On a PLANE? Really? REALLY?! Good one, Champ! I would love to go to your house and see your Special Olympics trophy for “Smartest Athlete in a Timed Trial”.

I fall asleep listening to my meditative World Flutes on my iPod. Drifting off into aero-dreamland, I try my best to keep my neck as erect as possible and my face forward. Nothing is worse than goosenecking on a plane (think sleeping-baby-in-car-seat). Every now and again, I come to & catch myself with my mouth open. I close it and slip back into my in-flight coma.

Did I mention I’m in a middle seat? Yeah. Thanks, Andre!

What feels like hours later (which was probably more like 45 minutes), I peel my eyes open and wake up. I swear the flight attendants walk by sleeping passengers and put glue in their eyes as they get their “rest”. Never in any other situation do my eyes get more pasty and dry than on an airplane. I could smoke a pound of Mary Jane all by myself and my eyes would be “watery” in comparison to how they feel right now. Luckily for me, I carry a bottle of Visene everywhere I go. Salvation!

I take a swig of my $14 bottle of Aquafina from the airport “gift shop”, look around, “stretch” and go back to “sleep”. [yes, the quotation marks are quite purposeful. Have you ever traveled on an airplane? If so, you know what’s up.]

Next thing I know, the flight attendant is there with his cart full of “goodies” (a.k.a. ridiculously overpriced convenience store treats) and “snacks” (a.k.a. underwhelming free shit that the airline is obligated to offer as part of their “service” to you as a passenger – processed cheese crackers, toddler cookies and peanuts. Ooh, yaaay…!). The lady next to me bought a $3 bag of peanut M&Ms! THREE DOLLARS?! For fucking M&Ms?! It’s not like it was the one pound bag either. It was the equivalent of a regular bag and a half. Three fucking dollars. Some people just gotta have their M&Ms I guess. I collected my processed freebie snacks and headed back to dreamland.

When I woke up again, I was most certain we were in our final decent. Wrong again. I still had 2 hours to go…awesome. That’s when I decided to start this blog.

*sidebar* Did you know that your feet swell in-flight? Yeah, I didn’t either, until just now. I wiggled my toes inside my boots & noticed that my pinky to and my big to are having an affair. I’m afraid to take these suckers off. I just may have boot-shaped feet after deplaning.

It was about 2:47am (LA time) when I said Good Morning to the world. I looked out the window over the guy who what knocked-the-fuck-out next to me and saw the most beautiful horizon.


And then…ahhhh! Ben Gay again!

This is gonna be a fuuuuun trip!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Mem'riiiiiiiiies From The Corner Of My Miiiind...

Today I went thru old messages in my myspace inbox dating WAY back to October of '04.  I reread quite a few of them and realized how much I have grown in the last 4 years...and all the friends I've kept in touch with as well as those I lost touch with.  It's pretty amazing really.  Reading old messages from old friends and the conversations we was very nostalgic. 

I also came across a few "first contact" messages from my now very good friends...hell, family at this point.  As I reread the messages, I couldn't help but smile a little (and sometimes a lot).  Looking back on where I was and WHO I was when I first received those messages.  Then, as I continued to read the O.G. messages, I thought about how well I now know the people who sent them.  Knowing their personalities, their izms (as CJ would put it), knowing WHO they are now, but not knowing who they were THEN.  It's almost like reading an old diary or going back to the future with the knowledge you have present day.  It was pretty awesome actually.

If I only knew then...

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

He's In!

We are finally one step closer to Obama's inauguration.  I know the man has a challenging road ahead of him, but I have no doubt in my mind that he will be able to make the Change he promises.  This is one hell of a man we've got who is ready to lead this country to great new heights.  He is the change we have longed for for ages.  He is nothing short of amazing.

I am not worried about Obama one bit. I know in my heart that he really is going to turn this country around. We definitely need it. I truly believe that this is going to be the most riveting presidency we will experience in our lifetime. I have so much faith in this man's abilities that I know he will be able to bring this country together, FINALLY. And there are a lot of others out there who wholly think the same. I'm not saying or implying that it will be an easy task by any means, but I do know that his second term is gonna be phenomenal!

To all you naysayers, doubtful thinkers, and/or worriers, I say...

Keep looking at the bright side. Eventually you will be able to see the source of the light!

That's the way I look at things!

OBAMA '08!


Tuesday, June 3, 2008


I didn't realize until just now how much I truly believe in Love.

I went to see the Sex And The City movie with a couple of friends tonight.  And, as we all do after a movie, we talked about it.  But this time, I didn't really talk.  I just listened.  I listened to one friend talk about how depressed she felt and how he was this and she was that and on and on. (I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone who reads this blog.  Plus, it's not about the movie anyway, so the details are just that...details.)

After listening to my girl lament about how she felt about love and relationships.  I said, "Well.  I believe in love. So...hey" and smiled and shrugged my shoulders.  And that's right when it hit me.  
I believe in Love.  What a great, great feeling!  

It's a bit strange because I instantly felt separate from my friends.  I felt different. My opinions were unlike theirs.  I was in a much happier place and I couldn't complain about Love.  Even though I've had my heart broken a thousand times, the darn thing just keeps on beating.  And I am thankful for that.  I mean, honestly. How can I complain about something so amazing?

Now, don't get me wrong.  It's not that my friend was necessarily complaining about Love itself, but she was definitely focused on the smaller things--the reasons why Carrie and Big's relationship shouldn't have been...the reasons why Carrie should be mad and Big was selfish (again, details).  But, at the end of the day, no matter what, they were still in love & they had that.  Love overcame all the small things. [Without giving it away, I do understand why my girl was so mad at Big and she has every right to feel that way.  However, since I believe that Love conquers all, everything else is just details...bullshit.]

My belief in Love goes way beyond the love between a man and a woman (or man/man or woman/ each their own).  It goes way beyond intimate relationships.  My belief in Love encompasses all Love.  The Love between lovers.  The Love between friends.  The Love between family members.  The Love between people.  The Love for self.  Love in general. 

All the things I have been taught about Love, especially in the last few months, have provided me with a much clearer understanding of not only the word, but also the feeling and the power behind it.  Love is abundant and we are all capable of giving It and receiving It.  And not for one moment will I ever discount It.  I will never take It for granted.  I will never speak badly of It.  How can I?  I know what it feels like to receive Love.  I know what it feels like to give Love.  I know what it feels like to be in Love.  I know what it feels like to make Love.  It's a good thing.  Hell, It's a GREAT thing!

After parting ways with my friends, when I got to my car, I took a moment to really digest what I was feeling.  Instantly, a sentiment of happiness came over me. A sentiment of Love.  I started my car and It's A Love Thing by The Whispers blasted from my speakers.  As I drove home, I sang along, bopped my head and danced behind the wheel.  And for the first time, I really, truly FELT the words...IT'S A LOVE THANG!  I played the song over and over until I got home.

It is truly a Love thang!
Yes it is.

Sunday, June 1, 2008


I don't get to see You as often as I'd like anymore.
At least not in the way I'd like.
If only You could see me the way I saw You.
If You could only see what I see.
If only You knew what I know.

You have been away for a while.
A long while.
I miss You.
I miss the time we spent.
I miss the moments we shared.
I miss touching You.
I miss hugging You.
I miss the kiss we had.

Now You live only in my dreams.
You are forever at a distance.
I close my eyes.
I hear Your voice.
I watch how You move.
I watch how You walk.
You have a bop in your step.
Like a little boy on his way to buy penny candy.

I hold on to the memories.
I cherish them every day.
I think about all the things You said to me.
I look at photos of You.
I look at photos of us.
I reminisce.
I smile.
I miss You.

Hopefully You will come back again.
Until then, I sit at the end of the dock.
My tiptoes in the water.
The breeze gently stroking my hair.
I watch the sun as it sets beyond the trees.
I sit and I wait for You.
I wait for You to row Your boat back toward the shore.
Waiting for You to come back and take me with You.

I'm SO Mad Right Now...



I had a weird dream last night that I missed my motorcycle class. It was so bizarre, because the REASON I missed the class (in my dream) was because of a time daylight savings time...but instead of an hour forward or back, it was a 2 hour forward time change. So, in my dream when it was 3:30 on the clock (that I apparently forgot to set) it was ACTUALLY 5:30! And since my class started at 4, I missed it. The other thing that pissed me off in my dream was that the time change was meant for that day only and apparently I forgot or didn't even know about it. Yeah, that was my dream.

Wellllllllllllll. Guess what?!

I missed my class today.  And you wanna know by how much? 
1 minute.  


Now. I'm pissed.  Instead of having a computer on my lap, I should have a motorcycle between my legs right now.  But, no.  No, because I missed the exit and had to turn around.  In that time, I missed it.  I missed my fucking motorcycle class.  Now I have to go standby until I get in.

I KNOW there is a reason I missed the class today.  Hell, I'm not getting my bike til Meow get's back from China anyway.  So, honestly, it's not like it was a major fuck up.  But it still sux nonetheless.  I was really looking forward to it. 

So, as with all things in life, I take this one in stride. And, I'll try again another weekend.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.