Sunday, November 29, 2009

Mustard Seed.

You never really know how you affect others by just Being your Self.

I've been fortunate to hear how much my Being has impacted others in a positive way.

It's quite a blessing I must say.

wow.

thank you!



[be the change...]

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Today's Horoscope...

Someone is spying on my life and sending me messages online...

My horoscope for today:

Sunday, Nov 22nd, 2009 --
You may be uneasy with all that's happening now, yet this is an opportunity for you to move past your own fears. You often prefer to hold on to what you already have because familiarity breeds security. But this isn't about being safe; it's about taking a risk to align your life with your true intentions. You could be pleasantly surprised today if you have the courage to stretch beyond your regular limits.


Honestly, I'm quite happy for the angels who are stalking me. Their messages are right on!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Creation.

From Love,
I created you.
I imagined you.
I wrote a list of all the things that I wanted you to be.
I dreamt of you.

You appeared.

I was surprised, to say the least.
Because you are perfect.
You are beautiful inside and out.
From head to toe.

Your eyes shine like jewels in the sun.
Your heart is as expansive as the Universe.
Your soul glows a golden light.
Your voice resonates peace and tranquility.

You are kind and gentile.
You are generous and selfless.
You are loving and affectionate.
You are compassionate and considerate.

Our souls met eons ago.
We have traveled many lifetimes together.
We have created together.
I know who you are.

You are a god.
You are a creator.
You are Love manifested.

My heart felt joy and shone brighter than the sun.
All I wanted to do was love you,
To stroke your hair,
Caress your skin,
And tell you everything will be alright.

But...

From fear,
I created, too.
I was afraid of being hurt,
As I had been many times before.

I invented excuses,
And reasons why.
I tried to find flaws, real ones.
But I couldn't.
I know your circumstances aren't perfect,
So my fear used that as leverage.

My heart wanted to move beyond it,
Because I know your burdens will end soon.
But your fears came in and joined mine,
And they created together.

We separated from each other.
We needed "space".
I cried.
My heart was broken.
I felt the pain that I expected,
That I feared would come about.

I got mad at you.
I blamed you for being caught up in the outside world.
I tried to point the finger, but
I created this, too.

Now...

I see, clearly,
Our abilities as god and goddess.
We can create our lives as we see it,
As we want.
Or we can create our lives otherwise.

From this moment,
I have decided to re-create.
I have chosen to return to my original intention,
Love.

I see you, again.
Your smile.
Your Light.
Your heart.
Your soul.

Love conquers all.
Love has conquered my fear.
My hope is that it has conquered yours too.

God.
Goddess.
Love.

Creation.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Listen To This.

After my last post, I came across these...

enjoy.







Holed Up.

I've been keeping myself holed up in the house for the past week or so trying to shift my thoughts. I mean, I have left the house on a couple occasions, but not for too long.

My intent is to discover, thru meditation, writing, etc., what my next move is here in Paris. There are a few things that I need to make manifest rather quickly & I'm really working on maintaining my focus. However, there has been one major distraction that has presented itself recently. [Unfortunately for you, I'm not at liberty to discuss it right now...but be patient, you'll find out soon enough] Let me say, for the record, that this particular distraction is not something that I need to be focusing on so tough at this moment. I really must, in fact, concentrate my energies and efforts on my immediate situation...finding a new residence December 1st (or, instead, go to Ghana for a couple months), making some real income, and getting my paperwork straight! The illusion of time is ticking on by...


For the last few days, I've been doing a lot of spiritual "homework". Reading, listening, writing, reworking, clearing old energy, changing my thoughts and changing my feelings. I can't say that it's been easy, necessarily, but I can say that it has been somewhat effective. [I say "somewhat" because I feel like I could be doing something more...but I'm not quite sure what that something is! ARGH!]

What I do know for sure, is that I must have more belief in my Self and more faith in the Universe. This has been, by far, the most challenging for me, to be honest with you. The funny thing is...this is what I want THE MOST! I mean, I know I have a lot of talents and abilities, however, I'm not quite sure how I can apply them in my current situation. At times, I feel like I've got a handful of square pegs looking at a board full of round holes! [...hell, maybe this is more of my optimistic pessimism at work!]

In any case, I can't help but still feel a bit stuck...like I'm trudging thru a channel of knee-deep muck. Part of me knows, on the other hand, that if I just step to my left or right, there's a muck-free zone that will allow everything to come together easily and flow. So why, might we all be wondering, don't I just step to the right or left? My answer is...because I still have blinders on! I can't see what's alongside me, so the left-brained part of me can't "figure it out", so all I know is muck. Additionally, I'm not trusting and having faith my knowing, which would, even with blinders on, force me, lovingly of course, to just step to one side.

Ego keeps me in the muck!

[fuckin' ego!]

I'm workin' on it.
I'm workin' on it.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Becoming...

My horoscope yesterday suggested that I step outside of my comfort zone.
With the knowing that I have, it makes perfect sense to me. You have to change in order to effect change in your life. Think the things you always thought, get the things you always got.

I get that.

As I would love to step outside of this zone, the truth is, I don't really know how. I think this is mainly because I don't even recognize my comfort zone[!]. Strange, no? I mean, I feel like I must be in some kind of place of complacency, because I find myself stuck in a certain pattern of behavior. However, I'm having trouble finding the emergency exit.


Remember the ball cage at Chuck E. Cheese? You know, the big "pool" of multicolored plastic balls that you jump in that brought you complete and total ecstasy as a kid? I imagine myself in the center of said ball cage...with the exception that it's the size of 10 football fields.

I mean, it's fun for a while, but when you're tired, hungry, and you just want to go home, it can get scary. Lost in a rainbow abyss of synthetic orbs, you cry for someone to come to your rescue...but there's no one there but you. Then you think to yourself, or in some cases out loud, or both, "Oh Fuck![!] What do I do now?!"

Some of us just start heading in one direction, any direction, determined to find our escape. Others swim around and around directionless hoping we'll stumble across the exit eventually. Some pray that God will part the balls right down the middle and lead us into salvation. While another number of us just freeze up, paralyzed and unable to move from the spot where we stand, crippled by fear of whatever [this may or may not be accompanied with hysterical crying, it really depends on the person].

Then there are those who really get it. The ones who know. These are the people who sit still, calm their minds, and listen. They allow their inner guidance to lead them in the right direction. Moment by moment, they follow their intuition and make the decisions that bring them safely to the right door leading them out of the unnerving and into a newer, calmer experience.

Well, let me tell you that, at some point in my life, I've been all of the former "people" and am working my way toward being the latter. I will admit, publicly, that I could, in fact, be more diligent about becoming one who really gets it. Many times, I find myself reverting back to the first group...mainly the frozen, hysterical crying person [ack!]. However, I find that this is just part of the journey. My ego wants to be there already, it always wants to be there already...but my spirit knows that it's all about the journey; this is where we learn how to appreciate the magic of life and of our experiences.


With that said, I have decided to work more fervently toward achieving the state of knowing and following my intuition. Even though it may be hard to hear at times, especially when the shit is about to hit the fan [or has already hit the fan & is spewing shit all over the place], ALL the answers are within. We never need to look outside ourselves for any answer to any question. We just need to be quiet enough, patient enough and allow ourselves to LISTEN.

...and the answer will be there. As plain as day.

You just have to listen.
 
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.