Tomorrow morning I begin the Master Cleanse...
My intention was to start today...which, I actually did for the first half of the day.
Then....it hit me!
"I want In-N-Out!"
fuck.
I never got my last meal. Now the cravings come...I'm losing the game...
Master Cleanse is really a mind game.
No, really.
It is.
Ok. Ok. Ok. I've done MC twice before and it was not this difficult the first day. What the hell?!
So, my internal battle goes on...Do I suck it up and continue? OR Do I say "fuck it" & eat a "Last Meal" and start in the morning...mentally prepared for the 10 day experience?
.........
......
...
So....I called Bossa Nova in Hollywood and ordered chicken and black beans...and, of course, Doce du Banana for dessert.[!]
After, din & a glass of wine. I smoked a bowl (which, I will not be doing during my fast either, BTW) and ate my banana deliciousness.
Once I cashed the bowl, I continued to watch my Netflix MIP (Movie In Progress), Sideways––which, incedentally, became funny after the pot hit. [I'd fallen asleep twice while watching it earlier in the evening] I ended up liking the movie.
Back to my original thought....
So, Master Cleanse (I feel I need to capitialize for some reason). Why am I doing it? I get that question from a few people. "You don't need to lose any weight..." they say.
...Who said anything about me wanting to lose weight?!?
"I'm not doing it for weight loss...." I reply. "I'm CLEANSING..." {hence Master Cleanse}
Why is that everyone's first assumption? That I want to, or would try to, lose weight?
WTF?!?
Really?
Contrary to popular belief, I have no desire to be a size 2....never have. I mean, just because I'm going the model/actress route, doesn't mean I'm interested in adopting the insanely ridiculous Hollywood weight obsession. Fuck that!
I'm cool.
I'm 5'10"...I'm not supposed to be a size 0...! I'm not cool with walking around looking like a latex skeleton. I'm so cool on that shit. Ick. I mean, I get that some women are naturally built like sticks, but that's not my goal. ...not by a long shot. My only interest is to be in the best shape and best health for my body. So, whatever it is that I decide to do...whether it be to go on a cleanse or to change my eating habits...it's for that reason only. I'm not interested in manipulating and destroying my body to fit someone else's idea of beauty.
I'm cool.
It's unfortunate that so many people are stuck in that program. Scales, pills, creams & salves, injections, surgeries, eating disorders, mental breakdowns...all for what?
No, thanks.[!]
Then, what's even worse...is when people whine about it. "This pill isn't working", "that diet didn't work", "I gained 5 pounds", "I can't eat this, I can't eat that"...
?
Wellllll....what if......WHAT IF.....you decided to hit the gym? or do some jumping jacks? or eat one less Twinkie?
hmm.
What if you stopped complaining? ...and actually did something about it?
hmm.
What if you focused on your overall health rather than just the weight?
...what if you vibrate higher and get out of the constant negative creating?...
hmm.
Another thing that I find a tad annoying, is when someone says to me "Oh, girl...you're skinny, you can eat whatever you want. I can't cuz...blah, blah, blah..." and, "You don't have to do anything to maintain your weight like I do...blah, blah, blah..."
Stop it.
Please.
Just because you made poor decisions last time you were at Denny's, don't get mad at me[!]...and don't invite me into your pity party, either.
I'm not coming.
Why do people do that? Try and make me feel bad (without avail, at this point) about having the body that I have? "You don't have to worry about this, cuz you've got that..."
Shut up.
Please, don't concern yourself with me and what I'm doing. Focus on yourself...your Self...and what you're doing...or NOT doing, for that matter.
How about you let me have my experience...and you go on and have yours. If you want to lose weight, tone up, or whatever...just fucking do it & stop running your mouth about all the reasons why you can't.
...or...
shut up about it already!!
I want a brownie.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
808s & Heartbreak
Lemme 'splain you....
Ever since Akon and T-Pain began singing with their ever-so-annoyning vox box shit, I've been turned off to just about every artist who went there (with the exception of Snoop's Sensual Seduction--which caught me with the hilarity of the video, moreso than the song itself)...and it's just another reason why I don't, to this day, listen to the radio...that vox shit is EVERY where! [Ack!]
If I heard the vox, I instantly tuned out.
So, when Yeezy dropped 808s & Heartbreak, I just assumed [yes, I know...never assume...but I did *sigh*] it was full of vox box shenanegans. So, I didn't persue it any further.
*sidebar* When Graduation came out, I bought it the week it was released...!
Even when I heard Ye's new shit it in my friend's cars or cribs, I tuned it out....
Now...back to the future...
as you can see by my previous post, I found myself on set of the RoboCop video. Well a few days prior to the shoot, I decided it might be a good idea to actually check out the album...FINALLY...
I was pissed.
[...at myself!]
The album is FUCKING GREAT!
It's actually my new favorite shit. I can't stop listening to it.
Who was I fooling...really...? I should have known better.
My bad, Kanye, for pre-judging your shit.
Joke's on me.
[buy it!]
RoboCop.
I had the pleasure of being on set of Kanye West's RoboCop video this week.
Word.
Let me just begin by saying...the Universe is f*cking awesome! ...and THANK YOU! I manifested some great shit!
I'm definitely a fan of Yeezy's music. Graduation was in heavy rotation last summer...[fall & winter too, shit!]. I find his music very inspiring and he is an extremely talented musician to say the least. Bravo, Ye!
Anyway, I got to play make-up assistant to my best pal, Shine Blackhawk (who, by the way, is a fucking Rockstar!) for the 3-day shoot. This is offically the 2nd Hype Williams set I've been on which is always a delight. Hype is a fucking genius! The video concept was dope...Kanye's storyboards were sick (...now I wish I'd taken photos of them for a later addition to this post...but I didn't even think of it until just now! [plus, I was a little nervous taking pictures in the first place, but I along the way, I relaxed and got some great shots! --which will be posted AFTER the official release of the video!])
The whole thing was shot with a green screen, so I can only imagine the dopeness that is to come.
*excitement!*
The video star. playing the role of the femmebot RoboCop, was Kanye's new flame, Amber Rose. And, I can honestly say that she is one of THE coolest, sweetest, and most genuinely authentic people I have ever met. She is a Bad-Ass Bitch, yo! (And gorgeous, too!)
The two of them have such a great chemistry together...Kanye totally lights up in her presence (& vice versa).
[Awwww!]
I digress...
Apparently the video is due out in early April, so it will be a hot minute before I can post the behind the scene pix...but in the meantime...
Word.
Let me just begin by saying...the Universe is f*cking awesome! ...and THANK YOU! I manifested some great shit!
I'm definitely a fan of Yeezy's music. Graduation was in heavy rotation last summer...[fall & winter too, shit!]. I find his music very inspiring and he is an extremely talented musician to say the least. Bravo, Ye!
Anyway, I got to play make-up assistant to my best pal, Shine Blackhawk (who, by the way, is a fucking Rockstar!) for the 3-day shoot. This is offically the 2nd Hype Williams set I've been on which is always a delight. Hype is a fucking genius! The video concept was dope...Kanye's storyboards were sick (...now I wish I'd taken photos of them for a later addition to this post...but I didn't even think of it until just now! [plus, I was a little nervous taking pictures in the first place, but I along the way, I relaxed and got some great shots! --which will be posted AFTER the official release of the video!])
The whole thing was shot with a green screen, so I can only imagine the dopeness that is to come.
*excitement!*
The video star. playing the role of the femmebot RoboCop, was Kanye's new flame, Amber Rose. And, I can honestly say that she is one of THE coolest, sweetest, and most genuinely authentic people I have ever met. She is a Bad-Ass Bitch, yo! (And gorgeous, too!)
The two of them have such a great chemistry together...Kanye totally lights up in her presence (& vice versa).
[Awwww!]
I digress...
Apparently the video is due out in early April, so it will be a hot minute before I can post the behind the scene pix...but in the meantime...
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Did He Really Just Say That...?
Ok, so today, I'm in the Goodwill in Hollywood, treasure hunting...I'm lookin' for a pair of kick ass pants....cuz I'm a thrift store rockstar, right[!?]...
Anyway...
All of a sudden, this man across the rack to my right, says to me..."Do all of Hollywood's super models come to buy their outfits from this store?" ...in this, casual, trying-to-start-a-conversation tone.
....umm...? what?...!
...Did he really just say that?
So, I say..."excuse me?"[!]
He repeated.
...are you kidding me right now?! Does this really work for him?
Oh, and it gets better...
I say, "Umm, I'm not sure." [...?]
Still a little shocked from how dumb that line was....
He added, "Aren't you Tracy Ross?" [pause] "Diana Ross' daughter?" [pause] "...Yeah, yeah, Tracy Ross.[!]"
...I get it allll the time. Sorry, man, nothing new.
"No...no, I'm not Tracy Ross. I get that a lot, though, so..." {polite smile}
He proceeds with, "Oh, you're not. Oh, ok well..." [pause] "Do you come to this location often? I like to come here, it's my favorite one." [pause] "I come here all the time." [longer pause] "Yeah, Goodwill - Hollywood." {...I zoned out somewhere in here...} "I think it's the best one? That's why I come here. Is this the one you always come to?"
...hmm.
I say "Uhh...yeah, I like it. I come here from time to time. I can always find something good. Something no one else will have."
...smile and nod
...smile and nod.
...quiet.
Taking a few more steps to the left...
.......
...........
I continue to look down at the rack in front of me and sift through some of the ugliest pants in history....slightly turning my head away, shielding my facial expression with my fro, as not to hurt this man's feelings.
...DAMN[!] I wish I had my sunglasses on!
Now...still trying to focus on finding good shit...all the while trying to figure out what the hell this man was thinking prior to his utterance....where the f*ck do these lines come from?
now I'm farther away...a minute has passed...and...
"Are you always that intelligent looking?"
==========screeeeech!! {dust cloud} *poof*
All my thoughts stopped...
W...T...F...?!?
What the HELL kinda question IS that?!
Are you for real??
...Did he really just say that?!?!
...really??
really.
...
wow.
I say, "Excuse me?" ...confused.
...confused as to what the hell would make a man say something so completely ridiculous??
He...repeats.
...?!
My mouth said, "Yes..." {poignant pause} "I...do..."
My eyes said, "Do you realize that is quite possibly THE dumbest thing you could ever say to.........anyone?!"
My face said it all...
WTF kind of answer could you possibly expect from that bullshit, man?:
"Well, no....I usually walk around looking as dumb as a box of rocks....I only look intelligent on Fridays..."
wow.
....today is Friday, by the way.
[*P.S.*]
On other side of the rack...where this man was "looking for pants"...were, also....women's pants.
Nice try man.
Nice try.
Anyway...
All of a sudden, this man across the rack to my right, says to me..."Do all of Hollywood's super models come to buy their outfits from this store?" ...in this, casual, trying-to-start-a-conversation tone.
....umm...? what?...!
...Did he really just say that?
So, I say..."excuse me?"[!]
He repeated.
...are you kidding me right now?! Does this really work for him?
Oh, and it gets better...
I say, "Umm, I'm not sure." [...?]
Still a little shocked from how dumb that line was....
He added, "Aren't you Tracy Ross?" [pause] "Diana Ross' daughter?" [pause] "...Yeah, yeah, Tracy Ross.[!]"
...I get it allll the time. Sorry, man, nothing new.
"No...no, I'm not Tracy Ross. I get that a lot, though, so..." {polite smile}
He proceeds with, "Oh, you're not. Oh, ok well..." [pause] "Do you come to this location often? I like to come here, it's my favorite one." [pause] "I come here all the time." [longer pause] "Yeah, Goodwill - Hollywood." {...I zoned out somewhere in here...} "I think it's the best one? That's why I come here. Is this the one you always come to?"
...hmm.
I say "Uhh...yeah, I like it. I come here from time to time. I can always find something good. Something no one else will have."
...smile and nod
...smile and nod.
...quiet.
Taking a few more steps to the left...
.......
...........
I continue to look down at the rack in front of me and sift through some of the ugliest pants in history....slightly turning my head away, shielding my facial expression with my fro, as not to hurt this man's feelings.
...DAMN[!] I wish I had my sunglasses on!
Now...still trying to focus on finding good shit...all the while trying to figure out what the hell this man was thinking prior to his utterance....where the f*ck do these lines come from?
now I'm farther away...a minute has passed...and...
"Are you always that intelligent looking?"
==========screeeeech!! {dust cloud} *poof*
All my thoughts stopped...
W...T...F...?!?
What the HELL kinda question IS that?!
Are you for real??
...Did he really just say that?!?!
...really??
really.
...
wow.
I say, "Excuse me?" ...confused.
...confused as to what the hell would make a man say something so completely ridiculous??
He...repeats.
...?!
My mouth said, "Yes..." {poignant pause} "I...do..."
My eyes said, "Do you realize that is quite possibly THE dumbest thing you could ever say to.........anyone?!"
My face said it all...
WTF kind of answer could you possibly expect from that bullshit, man?:
"Well, no....I usually walk around looking as dumb as a box of rocks....I only look intelligent on Fridays..."
wow.
....today is Friday, by the way.
[*P.S.*]
On other side of the rack...where this man was "looking for pants"...were, also....women's pants.
Nice try man.
Nice try.
Friday, February 27, 2009
More Readers Than Just My Mom...!
Shine passed me a message today..."Tony says, 'keep writing, you're a great writer and people are reading'..."
WHAT?!?
PEOPLE???
as in...MORE THAN JUST MY MOM?!
word.
I'm back!...officially!
...thanks for the kind words, Tony! :o)
[*sidebar*]
Question: Have you ever looked at a word...I mean really just looked at a word and discovered how funny it is? Like 'PEOPLE', for example. PEOPLE...hahaha! [ok, well, maybe I'm the only one who thinks this is funny.]
Why does "People" have an "o" in it anyway?
What's the point of silent letters? When the folks who invented written language got together, did someone say..."Heywaitaminute! Why don't we add an 'o' in the middle?!? No, no...you don't actually say the 'o'...it's just for aesthetics."?
Was it a unanimous decision? ...or was there a heated debate? [Personally, I think a bout of fisticuffs would have been overreactingly amazing! ...Yes. I make up my own words and use them in made up sentences...don't judge me.]
Do they have silent characters in Japanese or Chinese? ...the one that looks like a little tent...yeah, that's a silent tent.
I never understood why some words aren't spelled phonetically, ...like "phonetically". And, why one word can be used in different tenses...like "read". Or, why there are different pronounciations for words with double-o's...like "good" & "food". I think English was invented to confuse people who don't speak it, but want to learn it. ...same goes for French.
And...I, of course, want to learn French...
Tres magnifique!
WHAT?!?
PEOPLE???
as in...MORE THAN JUST MY MOM?!
word.
I'm back!...officially!
...thanks for the kind words, Tony! :o)
[*sidebar*]
Question: Have you ever looked at a word...I mean really just looked at a word and discovered how funny it is? Like 'PEOPLE', for example. PEOPLE...hahaha! [ok, well, maybe I'm the only one who thinks this is funny.]
Why does "People" have an "o" in it anyway?
What's the point of silent letters? When the folks who invented written language got together, did someone say..."Heywaitaminute! Why don't we add an 'o' in the middle?!? No, no...you don't actually say the 'o'...it's just for aesthetics."?
Was it a unanimous decision? ...or was there a heated debate? [Personally, I think a bout of fisticuffs would have been overreactingly amazing! ...Yes. I make up my own words and use them in made up sentences...don't judge me.]
Do they have silent characters in Japanese or Chinese? ...the one that looks like a little tent...yeah, that's a silent tent.
I never understood why some words aren't spelled phonetically, ...like "phonetically". And, why one word can be used in different tenses...like "read". Or, why there are different pronounciations for words with double-o's...like "good" & "food". I think English was invented to confuse people who don't speak it, but want to learn it. ...same goes for French.
And...I, of course, want to learn French...
Tres magnifique!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
:o)
I wish I had something insightful to say right now...
Unfortunately........I don't.
I'm thinking either I need to read more blogs & find out what people are talking about or just make some shit up. ...not that it really matters at this point, since I'm currently the only one who is aware that I am blogging again anyway.
I wish I had a joint right now...!!
Unfortunately.......I don't.
Currently, I'm on set, chillin', with nothing to do but hang out in the back of this Escalade and listen to iTunes radio. You would think that at a time like this, I would muster up the desire to write some prolific blog.
Unfortunately.......I'm not.
WTF?!?
I wish I had a car charger for my laptop!
Unfortunately........I don't.
...better luck next time.
Unfortunately........I don't.
I'm thinking either I need to read more blogs & find out what people are talking about or just make some shit up. ...not that it really matters at this point, since I'm currently the only one who is aware that I am blogging again anyway.
I wish I had a joint right now...!!
Unfortunately.......I don't.
Currently, I'm on set, chillin', with nothing to do but hang out in the back of this Escalade and listen to iTunes radio. You would think that at a time like this, I would muster up the desire to write some prolific blog.
Unfortunately.......I'm not.
WTF?!?
I wish I had a car charger for my laptop!
Unfortunately........I don't.
...better luck next time.
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