Thursday, August 6, 2009

God Doesn't Like Cut-Off Shorts

I went to "explore" more of Paris yesterday & I found myself at Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, the second most famous church in Paris. The grounds were covered in so many tourists, it was like a cockroach infestation at a Chinese restaurant! [OMG]

Now, I don't typically engage in tourist activities....the common tourist makes me want to scratch my eyes out....but since I didn't really have much to do I decided to go "see the sites".

As I arrived at the church grounds, I was instantly greeted by Senegalese street vendors trying to sell me [friendship] bracelets. "No, merci." I say with a smile as I walk away.
Well, apparently that doesn't suffice here in France. You either have to completely ignore these guys, acting like they don't exist, or run in the opposite direction. If you make any kind of verbal, or even eye contact, you're screwed. The man followed me for longer than I was comfortable with trying to sell me this f-ing bracelet. "No, merci....No, merci.....NO, MERCI!!!" as I pick up my pace and scurry off.


At the base of the grounds, there is a little, I'll call it a trolley [for the sake of trying to classify what this thing was], that you could buy a ticket and take you up the hill. I not only looked at how long the line was, but the fact that you had to pay for a ride up a hill seemed a tad ridiculous. So, I opted for the stairs.

....did I mention that there were approximately a million fucking steps?! Well, whatever. I'd just eaten an entire pizza by myself and climbing the stairs was free!

The church...outside...was absolutely gorgeous. Domed towers, beautifully carved stone, patinated statues....and the view from the! Unbeliveable! You could see for miles (or should I say kilometers?! I am in Europe after all). Apparently, the building sits atop the highest point in all of the city.

I try my best at playing tourist and take my photos. [as you can see here...]

...these aren't the steps I climbed...this is actually from my decent.




the view from the Basilica steps...



...a little stairway along one of the sides of the lawn.


the merry-go-round at the base of the grounds.....also featured in the movie Amelie [a must see! Great movie!!]


The entire time I couldn't help but think about how unfortunate it was for a holy place to turn into Disneyland. Don't get me wrong...I gave up on Catholicism long before I was forced to go to catechism class as a kid. But, it just seemed inappropriate for some reason. Maybe it was an old program still spinning around somewhere in my subconscious...or maybe I just felt bad for those who actually do practice the religion and choose this venerable place to do so. Or maybe it's just because I can't stand tourists! [gags]

Anyway, as I continue my rounds. I decided, since I was there, I may as well go inside and check it's probably really beautiful. [I haven't been inside a Roman Catholic church in at least 10 or more years...thank God!]. I walk up to the church entrance and immediately see the posted signs "NO PHOTOS. NO VIDEO." [*damn*] Ok, it's understandible, no worries. As, I get closer, I see another sign, smaller print, but apparently equally as important. Among the list of things that are required for entry...the one, and only, that caught my attention was "you must be dressed respectfully".

Here we go.

Before I continue, let me explain something....

It's summer....August....The hottest fucking month in any country in the Northern Hemisphere. I typically dress myself based on the weather conditions, an this day was no different. It's bad enough that before I moved to France I had to chuck my sole pair of flip flops because they broke. And, being that I'm not your typical 8 1/2 shoe size...I'm an 11, it's not like I can just pop into a random shoe store and say "gimme that pair in gold". Trust me, I've been searching for sandals since I got here!

Since I knew I would endure the inevitable hot-foot wearing my cowboy boots, I opted for my cut-off jean shorts and a tank top. Hell, I even pulled the fro back into a bun! ...and this is a rarity. Ask anyone who knows me.

....back to the Basilica....

As I approach the door, out of the corner of my eye, I see a sweetfaced young girl in a pair of black shorts and a yellow tank. She looked pretty bummed. Her facial expression said it all. I didn't think twice about it until I was ready to step in the church doors.

"NO. Mademoiselle. PAS BONNE. Pas bonne! No, no, no!" a small Bangladeshi man said to me waving his hand to stop me from entering. [pas bonne = not good]

Apparently, JC doesn't think cut off shorts are appropriate for his casa.

I rolled my eyes behind my aviator lenses and shrugged it off. "See! THIS is why I don't believe in religion!" I thought to myself. "WTF happened to 'come as you are'?"

As I turned to walk away, I noticed the young girl in yellow again. Ahhh! I see. Her black shorts were a tad too far above the knee for God's taste! The fucked up thing about it was, her whole crew, which must've been more "respecfully dressed", ditched her ass and went inside! Well, little lady, you know who's not gonna be on your side during the Armageddon! Hope you don't insist on wearing shorts!!

Gotta love those Roman Catholics!

*rolling eyes*

No comments:

Post a Comment

Go on...say it...[!]

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.