Saturday, May 31, 2008

Left Feeling Unsatisfied...

Went rollerblading again today.  This time I went to Hermosa & didn't go alone. I was allllllll excited to go and groove on my skates again as I had the day before, but the elements were different this time.  I didn't think twice about it though. I was ready to have a good ass time.  I just knew that today would be just as awesome as yesterday...but this time, with a partner.

Yeah, well.  I was wrong.  It's not that my company was bad. Nor was it that the beach was bad.  It's just that it was short lived and I didn't get out of it what I wanted to.  It was like bad sex.  I was all set to go, just getting into the rhythm and...BAM! it was over.  Just as soon as it started, it was over.  It was like the quickie that only worked for the other person.  I was expecting a couple hours of bliss and apparently my partner wanted a quickie.

So, I skated joylessly back to the little wall where I sat earlier to put on my skates.  As I hung my head and pouted, I slowly removed my skates wishing I could have one more go.  I felt like my mom just told me to get out of the pool cuz we were going home.  I sat for another moment and sighed.  Disappointed and unsatisfied. 

But hey, it's not like I haven't felt that way before.  Sometimes you gotta take the good with the bad.  I realize now, that the only way to truly be satisfied, is to do it myself!  This truly applies to so many areas of life, it's crazy.  Look at the bright side, at least my partner got his.  At least someone was satisfied.  I guess it bes like that sometimes. 


Friday, May 30, 2008

Rollerblading Part 2: Angel on Skates

I decided to let go and have fun today.  A much needed release.  I'm happy I started listening & finally let my guard down.

Today, for the first time, I allowed myself to see the light in everyone I passed along the bike path; everyone on the basketball court; everyone laying in the grass and sitting on benches. I saw the light in everyone everywhere. It was amazing. The best part...I immediately was able to recognize other conscious beings. We connected eyes, we exchanged smiles, we embraced peace and happiness...all happening within the moment it took me to pass them on my skates.
It is amazing!

After upgrading to Rollerblade 5.0, I glided along the boardwalk listening to my iPod.

Then, John Coltrane came on.  Lush Life.  I almost changed the song cuz I wanted to boogie on my new blades, but something told me not to.  Just let it play.  So, I did. 

I became entranced by the melodic sounds of Coltrane's saxophone.  Gliding effortlessly with every note.  I began to daydream. I danced with my imagination and fell in love.  In my state of bliss, a man came up along side me on his beach cruiser & got my attention.  I unplugged my left earbud, smiled warmly and said, "Hi."   The man looks at me with joy in his eyes and says, "I just wanted to tell you that I've never seen someone so graceful on rollerblades before.  You're like an angel on the bike path.  A rollerblading angel."

I was floored.

I said, "thank you" with a most gracious and generous smile.  

For a moment, and only a moment, we glided alongside one another with a silent, yet engaging pause.

Even though I knew what I was listening to, looked down at my iPod and said, "Oh. I'm listening to John Coltrane." And smiled again.

He says sweetly, "It figures. You move so gracefully."

I say thank you one last time, again with an appreciative smile.

The man says, "No. Thank you, Angel." He smiles and rides off.

I plugged Coltrane back in my ear & smiled to myself as I embraced my experience.

I floated gracefully along the pavement. 


Rollerblading Part 1: Getting My Bearings (and Wheels!)

About an hour into my skating, I took a cue from a friend (a mental cue anyway) and decided things would be so much better if I got new wheels and bearings. So, I skated up and down Venice looking for a skate shop. The first shop I found didn't carry any rollerblade anything. The second shop did, but the "service technician" (some chick) wasn't there & they only worked on skates on Mondays & Tuesdays...and since it was Wednesday, I was S.O.L.

The guy at the second shop told me about a skate shop on the boardwalk that serviced rollerblades. He tells me to go down to the 3rd parking lot and go toward The Walk and I will see the shop there.

"Uh, ok." I thought. So, I started skating down the alleys in search of parking lots.


Wait. Was that a parking lot? ...Yeah.


Mmm. No, I don't think that was a real parking lot.
(skate. skate. skate.)


Ahh. Yeah, two.
I think.
(skate. skate. skate)


Or is this two?
Maybe the second one didn't count.
(skate. skate. skate.)

Three. Again.

So, I turned left and headed to The Walk. Another quick left...and there it was!

Boardwalk Skate Shop

Jonathan and Trevor did a bang up job on replacing my shit...



Here they are sitting outside...but you can only see Jonathan cuz some lady is blocking Trevor with her entire body...


I skated out of there with the biggest smile on my face. 
As soon as I hit the pavement, I felt like I was at Disney On Ice.  The ride was so smoooooth! 
Ooooh weeee!

Skate on! Skate on!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Going Rollerblading...

Cuz it's the right thing to do!

I haven't been rollerblading at the beach since Yvonne left (almost 2 months ago now). I have to go today. I've been summoned.
(I'll have to post the pix from when she & I went. We had SO much fun! I miss that crazy SOB! *Yvonne, I'm glad you're having an amazing time in Guam! I need you to start blogging, ass!*)

I'm going to the beach today. I'm gonna skate till my legs fall off. I'm gonna be free today.


Thank You, Keith Olbermann...

Just a quick thank you to Keith Olbermann for being the voice on national television...


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

It's Been A Minute

I obviously haven't been blogging the way I used to.  May was a crazy month.  A lot of things happened & I had no time (or urge, really) to blog.  Apparently, however, I do have one "anonymous" reader who was missing my entries...according to a comment posted on an earlier entry.  So, it's time to go back to my civic duty & write more about what's in my head.  I definitely don't want to upset all my fans...or fan. LOL  You are appreciated, Anonymous Reader! Thank you :)

So, yeah. May has been nuts.  A lot of changes in my life.  Notably, I've had a major spiritual shift. I remember at the very beginning of the month, I was worried I'd be forced to stop my journey to take on a job.  [see While Waiting for the Paint to Dry...Enlightenment.] But, now that the job has ended and May is almost over, I realize that I couldn't have been more wrong in my initial thought.  I now realize that at that time, I was still living in fear.  Now, the tide is changing and fear is becoming nothing more to me than just a four letter word.  

The experiences I've had, each very real and very powerful, sometimes have me second guessing whether I'm going crazy or not.  The "societal" side [aka the humanness, as Rev. Beckwith would put it] has me thinking that way.  Although the societal voice is weakening, I can still hear it every so often.  Trying my damnedest to stomp it out at this very moment, however, I am coming realize that it will only slowly continue to fade until it's so quiet only dogs and dolphins can hear it.  And it is at that point that I will truly be conscious.  

I can say, without a doubt, that I am finally awake.   I've been brought out of my hibernation & can finally see it.  I am awake.  I am rubbing the sleep out of my eyes trying to put together the crazy dream I had in the moments before I came to.  The beauty of this stage of consciousness, is that it's momentary (that is unless you were smashed the night before & you're gonna be hung over for a while...luckily for me, I wasn't drinking).  With that, I say, "Good Morning."

Time to get out of bed & head for the bathroom to shit, shower and shave (my legs and my armpits, ass!).

I am ready to begin my Life.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I Have The Sun.

I have the sun.
I have the stars.
I have the moon.
I have the galaxies.

I have all the elements.

I have air.
I have earth.
I have water.
I have fire.

I have everything I need.

I have happiness.
I have contentment.
I have love.
I have family.
I have friends.
I have me.

I have everything I need.

I have bones.
I have muscles.
I have blood.
I have kidneys.
I have a liver.
I have lungs.
I have a heart.

I have teeth.
I have a tongue.
I have a mouth.
I have lips.

I have nostrils.
I have a nose.
I have eyes.
I have a brain.

I have feet.
I have legs.
I have arms.
I have my head.
I have my body.

I have everything I need.

I have health.
I have life.
I have wealth.
I have me.

I have God.
I have Peace.
I have Happiness.
I have Wisdom.
I have Gratitude.
I have Appreciation.
I have Me.

I have a spirit.
I have energy.
I have light.
I have me.

I have the will.
I have the message.
I have the ability.
I have the desire.
I have me.

I have everything I need.

I have thoughts.
I have words.
I have feelings.
I have emotions.
I have a voice.

I have joy.
I have peace.
I have love.
I have me.

I have color.
I have paint.
I have music.
I have self-expression.
I have me.

I have everything I need.

I have a direction.
I have a path.
I have a guide.
I have my journey.
I have me.

I have the sun.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Happy Birthday!

At first, I was going to get you a special gift.  Something I felt like you would really appreciate.  Some thing that I thought would let you know how much I care and understand.  Then, I thought I would get you something that would carry less weight.  Some thing that would be more fun & more super awesome

But, now I've chosen to give you something more meaningful than some thing.  I'm giving a very precious gift. One that I hope you will carry with you for many years and truly cherish.  I'm giving you the gift of my friendship.  The one thing that I truly enjoy in life is being a good friend.  And thru my friendship rather than thru some thing, you will truly know how much I care and understand.

So, here's to you!  Happy Birthday & I'm glad to be able to call you "friend."

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

In wishing my mother a very happy Mother's Day, I also give thanks to the sacrifices she made in her life that have allowed me to be where I am today.

A few weeks ago, i was sitting at home rolling my first joint (yes, I've never rolled a joint in all my years!) thinking about how awesome my life experience has been.  I thought about how much I was enjoying the fact that I COULD sit here in California, in my own place, with beautiful weather and realizing my dreams & goals.   I imagined that if my mom had ever left Minnesota and explored as I had, that maybe she would be sitting in her apartment somewhere rolling a joint and enjoying herself.  I saw her in me at that very moment.  I realized how much I am really like her.

Then it hit me.

Had she left, I may not even exist.  I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the moment that I had.  Had she not made the sacrifices she did...I wouldn't be where I am today.  And, for that, I am thankful and appreciative.

Thank you, Mom.


I love you.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

F*ck What Yo Mama Say...I'm Voting the Obama WAY!!

I wish I would have found this earlier, but hey at least I have it now! ...thanks to my brother from another mother, Brad. 'Preciate it, son!

OBAMA '08! OBAMA '12! OBAMA FOREVER!! I'm with you bro!

(when he's in the White House, I want him to change the law that the President can stay in office as long as the people want him to!)

Monday, May 5, 2008

On Being An Alchemist...

Enlightenment is the most amazing experience one person can have. I am learning how to communicate. How to be specific in my wishes and how to be exact with my questions. With that, I begin to receive answers. Answers to so many different questions.

I have achieved a new, higher level of understanding unlike anything I have previously experienced. It's an amazing feeling when you know you are getting the answers to any questions you could ever propose.

On my journey, I am learning so much. And, now, so much faster than ever before. The flood gates have broken & the river is bursting out onto the earth and ready to carve its path to the ocean. In my case, the ocean is my Personal Legend. My ultimate dream. I'm open now to receiving my calling. What I am supposed to do while I'm here on this planet. My ears are open, my eyes are wide, I am ready to receive the message. I am listening.

I am listening.

[Read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho]

Friday, May 2, 2008

Truly Amazing!: LifeStraw

I came across this amazing, life changing product on another blog today. It's called LifeStraw.
It's a point-of-use water filtration system. The Danish company,Vestergaard Frandsen, is behind the invention & is providing this life saving tool (among others) to thousands of people in Africa!

I'm so thankful that there are companies out there who are taking the steps toward saving the world with their emergency relief efforts! My hope is that more and more American companies will start to think outside their own capitalist interests and join the movement to save other humans from unnecessary suffering!

If you would like to donate a LifeStraw, click & submit your donation via their website.

Kudos to you, Vestergaard Frandsen! May you continue your success and your altruistic movement!

peace & light
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