Saturday, February 28, 2009

Did He Really Just Say That...?

Ok, so today, I'm in the Goodwill in Hollywood, treasure hunting...I'm lookin' for a pair of kick ass pants....cuz I'm a thrift store rockstar, right[!?]...

Anyway...

All of a sudden, this man across the rack to my right, says to me..."Do all of Hollywood's super models come to buy their outfits from this store?" ...in this, casual, trying-to-start-a-conversation tone.

....umm...? what?...!

...Did he
really just say that?

So, I say..."excuse me?"[!]

He repeated.

...are you kidding me right now?! Does this really work for him?

Oh, and it gets better...

I say, "Umm, I'm not sure." [...?]

Still a little shocked from how dumb that line was....

He added, "Aren't you Tracy Ross?" [pause] "Diana Ross' daughter?" [pause] "...Yeah, yeah, Tracy Ross.[!]"

...I get it allll the time. Sorry, man, nothing new.

"No...no, I'm not Tracy Ross. I get that a lot, though, so..." {polite smile}


He proceeds with, "Oh, you're not. Oh, ok well..." [pause] "Do you come to this location often? I like to come here, it's my favorite one." [pause] "I come here all the time." [longer pause] "Yeah, Goodwill - Hollywood." {...I zoned out somewhere in here...} "I think it's the best one? That's why I come here. Is this the one you always come to?"

...hmm.

I say "Uhh...yeah, I like it. I come here from time to time. I can always find something good. Something no one else will have."

...smile and nod
...smile and nod.


...quiet.

Taking a few more steps to the left...

.......

...........

I continue to look down at the rack in front of me and sift through some of the ugliest pants in history....slightly turning my head away, shielding my facial expression with my fro, as not to hurt this man's feelings.

...DAMN[!] I wish I had my sunglasses on!


Now...still trying to focus on finding good shit...all the while trying to figure out what the hell this man was thinking prior to his utterance....where the f*ck do these lines come from?

now I'm farther away...a minute has passed...and...

"Are you always that intelligent looking?"

==========screeeeech!! {dust cloud} *poof*

All my thoughts stopped...

W...T...F...?!?
What the HELL kinda question IS that?!
Are you for real??


...Did he really just say that?!?!

...really??

really.

...

wow.


I say, "Excuse me?" ...confused.

...confused as to what the hell would make a man say something so completely ridiculous??

He...repeats.

...?!

My mouth said, "Yes..." {poignant pause} "I...do..."

My eyes said, "Do you realize that is quite possibly THE dumbest thing you could ever say to.........anyone?!"

My face said it all...





WTF kind of answer could you possibly expect from that bullshit, man?:

"Well, no....I usually walk around looking as dumb as a box of rocks....I only look intelligent on Fridays..."


wow.


....today is Friday, by the way.


[*P.S.*]
On other side of the rack...where this man was "looking for pants"...were, also....women's pants.

Nice try man.

Nice try.

1 comment:

  1. Funny that you mention Tracy, I was just randomly sitting next to her yesterday afternoon.

    As far as the guy goes... hmm... torn between feeling like you do about the situation and giving him credit for trying.

    Either way, great read! Thanks.

    ReplyDelete

Go on...say it...[!]

 
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