Thursday, February 28, 2008
...On Discovering My Talent...
As I've been working on my portfolio, I've discovered some things about myself. I've realized that the fashion biz comes to me pretty easily. And that the drawing/sketching part isn't difficult for me at all! However, for the past, hmm... 28 years!, i've been talking myself out of how good I am! Trust me, I'm definitely not tooting my horn here -- at least not yet! -- I'm realizing that we can truly talk ourselves out of doing something we love out of fear of rejection or looking stupid...*to whom, I really don't know, but for some odd reason there is the feeling that SOMEONE out there will be laughing at us for whatever reason*
This is truly a breakthru moment for me. I mean, think about it. I was so afraid of messing up, or not doing things right the first time, that I TOTALLY talked myself down from the ledge...NOT realizing that the ledge I was standing on, was the ledge to my future. Had I just let myself jump, I'd've free fallen into greatness! HA! *slap!* dumb.
Long ago, I discovered that I had a fear of success. (I KNOW! Weird, right?!?!?) But as time has passed, and I've let go of the reins, diving into what I thought would be cold unforgiving waters, I've realized that I dove into a warm, welcoming ocean of talent and awesome potential! So, I started swimming! As time goes on, I become stronger, swimming faster and longer than I could have ever imagined! Now, I'm building a speed boat! (yes, all while swimming! Now THAT, my friends, is talent!)
I don't understand why sometimes we have these epiphanous moments so late in life! **I know, I know, some people say "at least you discovered it while you're still young, your only 28!" but hell, if I'da done it 10 years ago...!** But then again, I would be a different person now...on a completely different journey, with different friends and different experiences. I like my friends and I cherish my experiences (good & bad)...it's made me who I am!!
So, maybe I'll settle for..."hell, if I'da done it 3 months ago!!" LOL But whatevs! It comes when it comes!
Stay tuned! I'm SURE there will be more!!