Sunday, March 30, 2008


You know the saying, "April showers bring May flowers"?  What does a ridiculously crazy March bring??  I'm not talking sunshine and daisies here.  I'm referring to my life's obnoxious roller coaster ride for the past 3 months (and counting, I'm sure!).

March has been really very trying for me.  The ups have been awesome, yet relatively few, and the downs have been heart wrenching and terrifying.  F*cking sux!  Let me tell you!  I must say that I am SO appreciative of the people I have in my life.  To my dearest friends and family members, I truly truly appreciate your support and love and TOLERANCE!! OMFG! You are all amazing!! I mean that from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!  I don't know what I would do without you folks.  To each one of you ( know who you are), I give the most sincere thank you.  I would be honored to return the favor whenever you're in need.  Please don't hesitate to call!

The most challenging moments? Self discovery. Both the good and the bad.  I know it's all for the greater good, but knowing that doesn't necessarily make it easier.  Sometimes I feel like I took the red pill wishing I'd've taken the blue one!

But then again, the grass ain't always greener.  But, sometimes it is!! F*ck! (yes, again. get use to it.) 

Another difficult pill for me to swallow...dragging all my people into the vortex. I know most of them understand what I'm really going thru & they're taking it like champs (especially my mom. I looooove you!).  However, there is one person in particular that has me a bit concerned.  I'm afraid that my chaotic state may have finally turned this person away.  This person is a new friend, but one I care about very much.  Someone I feel like I've known forever...the one  childhood friend I was missing and didn't meet until adulthood.  In my own defense, I did give a disclaimer for my current state.  We are both getting to know me at the same time.  I never said it was going to be easy, nor did I say it was going to be free of maniacal moments.  I did, however, say that it was definitely going to be interesting!  

Undoubtedly, it's a lot to ask of someone who is new to your world to bear with you while you go thru a major life transformation.  I get that.  And I wouldn't blame anyone for bolting for the hills.  However, I can promise one thing, the end result will be worth it!  You'll just have to trust me.  Hang in there as best you can.  Follow the white rabbit.  Wonderland is a bitch sometimes, but the experience is invaluable.   

Most people don't get to see what goes on inside the cocoon; they only get to see the butterfly.  For those of you in the cocoon with me, thanks for helping me put on my wings.  I can't wait to see the colors!

good night.

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