March has been really very trying for me. The ups have been awesome, yet relatively few, and the downs have been heart wrenching and terrifying. F*cking sux! Let me tell you! I must say that I am SO appreciative of the people I have in my life. To my dearest friends and family members, I truly truly appreciate your support and love and TOLERANCE!! OMFG! You are all amazing!! I mean that from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!! I don't know what I would do without you folks. To each one of you (...you know who you are), I give the most sincere thank you. I would be honored to return the favor whenever you're in need. Please don't hesitate to call!
The most challenging moments? Self discovery. Both the good and the bad. I know it's all for the greater good, but knowing that doesn't necessarily make it easier. Sometimes I feel like I took the red pill wishing I'd've taken the blue one!
But then again, the grass ain't always greener. But, sometimes it is!! F*ck! (yes, again. get use to it.)
But then again, the grass ain't always greener. But, sometimes it is!! F*ck! (yes, again. get use to it.)
Another difficult pill for me to swallow...dragging all my people into the vortex. I know most of them understand what I'm really going thru & they're taking it like champs (especially my mom. I looooove you!). However, there is one person in particular that has me a bit concerned. I'm afraid that my chaotic state may have finally turned this person away. This person is a new friend, but one I care about very much. Someone I feel like I've known forever...the one childhood friend I was missing and didn't meet until adulthood. In my own defense, I did give a disclaimer for my current state. We are both getting to know me at the same time. I never said it was going to be easy, nor did I say it was going to be free of maniacal moments. I did, however, say that it was definitely going to be interesting!
Undoubtedly, it's a lot to ask of someone who is new to your world to bear with you while you go thru a major life transformation. I get that. And I wouldn't blame anyone for bolting for the hills. However, I can promise one thing, the end result will be worth it! You'll just have to trust me. Hang in there as best you can. Follow the white rabbit. Wonderland is a bitch sometimes, but the experience is invaluable.
Most people don't get to see what goes on inside the cocoon; they only get to see the butterfly. For those of you in the cocoon with me, thanks for helping me put on my wings. I can't wait to see the colors!
good night.
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